13 things I’d tell my 13-year-old self, now that I’m 30

New start, new post for Buhay Copywriter

A still from 13 Going on 30 (Columbia Pictures via Vogue.com)

Hi everyone,

I’m back from a break I took at the start of the Lenten season, which also coincided with Mommy getting worse and eventually passing away. My sister and I (plus our partners) have been busy spending time with family, tending to the wake and inurnment, settling the estate, and other things that tend to come up after a loved one passes.

While I’ve been away, I also turned 30 years old! Last Friday was my first birthday without Mommy, and it was Good Friday, to boot. Nothing new for a summer baby like me.

Thanks for patiently waiting, and for supporting my work! I was surprised at the growth my Substack got while I was on hiatus.

As I ease back into writing again — both at work as a copywriter, and for myself as a writer — here’s a little list I prepared to mark this new chapter in my life.

1. You’ll finally get your own room in a two-storey house in a few years! It’s a lot of freedom, and a big responsibility, too.

2. You’re going to love taking care of two dogs, and two little gardens. It sounds hard to believe now, but trust me, you will love them.

3. Your heart is in the right place…even if you haven’t grown into your intuition and big feelings yet. And sadly, that benefit of the doubt stuff? It won’t work for you.

4. You’re going to deal with anxiety. So start reading up about mental health. It will help you tremendously.

5. Don’t be boy-crazy. High school boys are a mixed bag, at best. You’ll meet a good man in college, and you’ll be surprised by how much he’ll love you.

6. Parents can be wrong. It’s shocking now, and it may be appalling to them. But yes, they can be wrong. They’re human, too.

7. Keep writing. Keep reading. Especially when you feel that books and words are the only things keeping you afloat.

8. Keep designing on Friendster, Multiply, Tumblr…and don’t give up on learning about visuals and coding. You might wish that you had kept developing those skills.

9. Play the electric organ more often, even if you aren’t taking lessons anymore. And while the guitar isn’t for you, why not try the ukulele? It’ll suit your small hands better (yes, your hands won’t grow any bigger, sorry).

10. Some of your best friends now will be friends for life. Some of them, you won’t be inviting to a birthday party or your wedding. But they might show up for your saddest moments, and that’s something. And you have to learn to be okay with all of that.

11. You’ll always view “back then” as a simpler time. But that doesn’t mean your fear, trauma, anger, and pain didn’t count. They do, and they always will. But try to appreciate the beauty in what you have today.

12. I wish I could say things will turn out okay. In a way, they will. In a way, they really won’t. But you already know that, even at 13.

13. Just keep praying and doing your part, even if it seems futile. Your little habits and routines will hold you steady amidst the storms and upheavals of life.

My birthday celebration - dressed up in clothes from Mommy's Zalora vault, bought cupcakes, Paul and my sister's boyfriend cooked and we ordered in as well. Time with the dogs too, of course. The following day, since restaurants were open already, Paul treated me to the Auro Chocolate Cafe Afternoon Tea set with pastries inspired by different legends (alamat).

Thanks for reading, and see you again next week — this time for actual copywriting-related content. 💜